I don’t know about you guys, but I’m crushed over Brangelina’s split. Despite the controversy that surrounded their relationship, I genuinely wanted them to make it. I’m sorry that they didn’t.
In the aftermath of the news, I’m basically losing it. Brad and Angie were my final straw and now that they’re no more, I’m coming clean about my marriage woes.
Lately, I’ve been a little apprehensive toward the prospect of marriage. The idea use to excite me, but now it makes me feel just the opposite- scared. If forty to fifty percent of American marriages end in divorce, how can I expect mine (when it happens) to last? I’m not any better than anyone else, so what am I going to do differently than half of the country to ensure a lasting marriage?
I should probably mention that I’m not dating anyone right now, nor have I ever had a boyfriend. But as a single female with hopes of one day getting married, I think my concerns are warranted.
I know that there’s no one answer to why marriages fail and that each case is different, but we have to acknowledge the existence of a common denominator- even if we don’t know what it is.
My views aren’t naive; I’m not waiting to be swept up on a magic carpet and adored endlessly by some debonair prince.
I know that marriage is hard work and that it comes with many challenges, but…
Doesn’t everyone know that?
I guess knowledge and experience yield different results…
I used to think I had the answers to a successful marriage. I thought that if a person set standards and married into them, their union would last- simple. But I realize now, that while standards are important, marriage is much more complex than a checklist.
As I sit, pondering the convoluted world of marriage and relationships, one word comes to mind:
I mean, right? It’s the one word (aside from money) that starts and ends a marriage. It’s about love. At least that’s what we’ve led ourselves to believe- that love conquers all. We see it over and over again, people getting married because they’re in love, getting divorced because they’re not. Joining a union for love seems right, and for a while, I’m sure it feels right. But the problem with love, is that it has too many definitions and it’s interpretation is dependent on people.
Human feelings and emotions aren’t stable enough to be the foundation of a marriage. We change our minds without blinking and we believe in the right to act on those changes.
I don’t want to give someone that kind of love, nor do I wish to be loved in that manner.
Love needs a revolution. One that would restore its power to the cross. Jesus’ sacrifice was the ultimate act of love. We all know the story, but perhaps we’ve become numb to it. I implore you, familiarize yourself with Jesus’ existence on this Earth. You’ll find that He is the embodiment of love. In fact, that love cannot exist outside of Him. And in truth, that He is love.
So because Jesus set the standard, I refuse to be loved with anything short of His love. Likewise, I refuse to give anything less than the love He has filled my heart with.
This is not a declaration that marriage won’t come with challenges, it most certainly will. It’ll be frustrating, impossible sometimes, maybe I’ll feel suffocated or want to be free, maybe I’ll change and he won’t, what if I grow and he doesn’t, what about money, and God forbid- what if we fall out of love?
Yet, unconditional love knows no bounds. Jesus has yet to leave my side, despite my disobedience, frustration, the times I’ve blatantly done things to hurt him, ignored him, not trusted Him, given up on Him, kept things from Him, put others before Him, neglected spending time with Him…
The list is infinite, yet He has remained. And as a reflection of His heart, my love will not run out.
So, no, I don’t have all the answers to a successful marriage- I have one.
Love and be loved with the heart of Jesus.