I’m beginning to comprehend the impossibility of ever fully knowing a person. More than anyone, myself. Ever evolving and eternally seeking, I’ve much to learn of me.
I’ve always prided myself on being a rational individual. Emotions tend to blur logic and disfigure reality. However, I’m realizing that my need for order may be limiting my ability to be empathetic and understanding toward others. What I thought was an exclusive strength of character, has revealed its duality.
Who we are is heavily influenced by those closest to us. Knowing that the lives and decisions of others have a strong pull on us individually is nerve wracking. To protect myself, I seek order in all communication. If a relationship is deterred from my ideal structure, I panic. And if I can find no suitable alternative, I retreat.
I fear a dominoe effect; if you fail at playing your role- because I am so intricately linked to you- I too will be adversely affected. While, my worries aren’t unjustified, they are founded by naive ideals.
All relationships are flawed.
We only serve as a limitation to human relation, when we are defensive toward communication outside the lines.
I don’t get to dictate whether or not someones efforts fit into my structure of who they should be. It makes me sad and sometimes angry when I see people dwelling beneath their potential. It’s honestly a projection of my self disappointment. I want others to pave the way for me, so that I can pave the way for the next generation.
Unfortunately, life is messier than everyone playing their part to perfection. And while we should refrain from putting complete faith in one person, we can choose to highlight what’s best about each individual. Let’s break the habit of pointing out fallacies and shortcomings in our relationships. If we encourage each other more, we wouldn’t have to beg emotional accommodations as often- they’d be gladly given.
Some relationships are destined to a temporary existence, but some are just off the beaten path waiting for exploration. We all have great expectations. They are welcomed, but consider the possibility that your expectations lie in wait on a path you did not create.
“O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.”