Not Okay, is Okay

Last Thursday, I decided that this week’s entry would spotlight laughter as life’s indisputable remedy. I was more enthusiastic than usual to write this piece and was looking forward to conducting the appropriate research to support my claim. As the week progressed though, I found myself retreating into a dark abandoned room in my mind and discreetly shutting the door behind me. Initially, I attributed it to fatigue, but for the next couple of days all I wanted was for the sun to set and night to fall. It was as though all the problems in the world had formed an alliance and ambushed me full force. An attack of that caliber required preparedness, and I was not.  All I could do was crawl to a corner of that room, hold myself close, and pray for it to end.

The gray cloud that loomed above me is a place we don’t like to talk about because we’re ashamed that we house such shadowy corners in our minds. The human race is a remarkably unique species; each individual is composed of diverse emotions and experiences that make us all, just as alike as we are different.

There’s a stigma attached to dark emotions that makes us afraid to face them. Although, it is truly our scars that make us beautiful, we are taught never to visit the graveyard of our minds, lest we be held there, captive by its reins. Yet, we find ourselves wandering about our cemeteries often. It’s an unconscience journey we embark upon in search…..

I don’t know what I was looking for in that room last week, but I found myself having to face the unknown. There are issues in our lives that must die, so that we may live. We are not meant to take up residence in these dark spaces, but we are to face our demons in order to emerge conquerors.

Sadly, many people build mansions on the foul grounds of their graves. These people search endlessly for happiness, in: money, things, other people, sometimes fame, and love. They try to suffocate those dark feelings, by placing all sorts of things atop the grave, but what is meant to be resurrected will never stay down.

What I am saying is that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Life is difficult and certainly overwhelming. There will be times that you have to visit that dark room in your mind and address the foundation of your pain in order to resurrect yourself. As long as you live, there will always be a new part of yourself to explore. Beauty lies in the resilience of pain. It’s not an easy journey, but it is necessary. When you find yourself slipping into that dark room in your mind, prepare for victory.

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